Ever said those words to God? I have found myself saying them quite a bit lately... not really proud of that fact, but it's true.
I don't like to feel pain, who does? I don't like pruning or refining of any kind.
But I love the finished product...
I have been in a process with my Father of refining, and while it is painful and uncertain at different points, it is also profound to me that He even takes the time for me in the first place. There usually isn't much warning about when it's coming, either. In fact, I find myself blind-sided most of the time by His "need" to stretch me and remove the comforts I have strategically put into place. It probably shouldn't catch me off-guard, but it does most of the time.
I never would have admitted to most that I struggle with submission, but I am seeing a side of me that isn't very pretty or Godlike. I just realized that submission for me is only easy when I am submitting to something or someone that I already approve of. Meaning, I struggle with submitting to a person or thing that I don't understand or don't think I should have to submit to.
This is probably not something that should have hit me like a ton of bricks, but it has.
I also pride myself, just a bit, on being extremely relational. I love people, and most of all figuring out what makes them tick. Now, this is not to say that I "like" all people, but I have a much easier time getting along with others when I understand better where they are coming from. In order to do this, I need tons of "face time". Although, not everyone is comfortable with me getting in their faces... : )
But here is where my point of contention has surfaced... God has been showing me that while I like relating and uncovering those around me, I like it best when it's under my terms. And that is not submission! I read the following statement about submission recently and it really explains my point:
"Along with time and transparency, intimacy requires submission. Submission is perhaps the most powerful relational dynamic. Submission is the decision to put the needs, desires and wishes of another ahead of our own."
Notice in the above statement, there was no talk of "feelings", Rachel!
Father, I will submit not only to You, but also to those around me that are in authority over me. You have placed each of us where You want us. It is not my job to always understand, but it is my job to accept it and act accordingly. I will choose to do so regardless of what my feelings may be. I trust You above all others and I will show You that with my actions, even when it means I only get to see one piece of the puzzle. You are in control!!
